Day 5

I am a little late today. We will be going on vacation for the first time in about 6 or 7 years in August. And I had to admit that I am feeling guilty about it.

Years ago we decided that vacations and since Dystinee didn't travel well and she was getting to old and it was to hard for her the be boarded that we would just start doing stay vacation at home and maybe just take a day trip out of town.

We were happy to do this and looking back I would have made the same decision again. And to be honest if it meant getting her back I would have done it forever.

But now that she is gone and we can go again I find myself feeling guilty about going. We still have yet to move anything at all, her toys and her bed are just the way that she left them. I am not sure when I will have the strength to move her things.

Dystinee was such a major part or our lifes sometimes I wondering if I will ever be able to totally move on or not.

All said we still miss her terribly and still find ourselves in shock and disbelief that she is really gone. Every day I still look around the house hoping that I will find her there waiting on me with that little face and looking up the way she did.

I miss her so much...