Monday, July 15, 2019

Day 14

It has been 2 weeks since the day that we lost Dystinee. It is still hard and there are times that I just want to break down. Over the years I got so use to her being around and now everyday I am reminded that she is no longer here.

Day by day it is getting a little better, but I still miss my little girl so much.

Friday, July 12, 2019

The Return

Today Dystinee was returned. We will being putting her in the living room. She is home again and although we will miss her, we will feel better knowing that she is home again and where she belongs. It will never be the same but at least what we have left is with us now. The Journey After will be a long one and one that will be different and at time difficult but I know that she is safe and in a better place,

I have been told about a rainbow bridge one that our companions are safe and warm. Playing happily with other Companions waiting on the day of our return when we can again be together forever, I am not sure what is real but I know that for now I will choose to believe that, And maybe one day I will again see my sweet girl and get to hold her in my arm and pet her again. 

Day 10

I am again feeling guilt today. As time continue to move forward I am finding myself cry less and even though I still miss her terribly and I know that I always will, I still can't help but feel bad about not crying as much. Dystinee remains should be coming home today and I am glad to have what we have left of her back in the house where she belongs. She grew up here and lived most her whole life here and she belong here and with us forever. I still love and miss her everyday and I will always love and miss her,

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Day 8

Yesterday was feeling angry and hurt.  I have began to I believe finally to accept this. It slow but it is happening. I have yet to remove anything from view of Dystinee's. And in fact we have not touched her beds they are just as she left them a week ago. I still miss my girl and I know that no matter the time I will always miss her.

Monday, July 8, 2019

Day 7

This is maybe not the hardest day, but this day is bad. It has been 1 week since Dystinee left us. I find myself thinking of her often. I am not sure what happens to dogs after they are gone but I hope more than anything even if I never see her again I hope that she found comfort and joy. I hope that she is happy where ever she is now. I don't have a lot to say today as I am just sad and missing a sweet little girl.

On this day I decided that I wanted to post one of the first pictures that we took of Dystinee and then one of the last. She truly was the goodest girl.



Sunday, July 7, 2019

Day 6

Sitting here today I can't help be think that at this time last week I was getting ready to spend the last day I had with Dystinee. I went home and I snuggled my sweet girl. We hung out with her all day.

Everyday that passes takes me further away from the worse day of my life. If find that day by day it's a little easier and at the same time the further I move away the further I am away from the last time I saw my sweet girl.

I never knew that it was possible to free two completely polar opposite feelings at the same time. I am both feeling better and a little less sad and hating myself and feel more sad at the same time. I don't know what the future holds I know that one day I will look back and remember the good times the happy times that I had with my sweet Dystinee. But for now I can't help but also remember that Monday and hate myself a little bit each time.

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Day 5

I am a little late today. We will be going on vacation for the first time in about 6 or 7 years in August. And I had to admit that I am feeling guilty about it.

Years ago we decided that vacations and since Dystinee didn't travel well and she was getting to old and it was to hard for her the be boarded that we would just start doing stay vacation at home and maybe just take a day trip out of town.

We were happy to do this and looking back I would have made the same decision again. And to be honest if it meant getting her back I would have done it forever.

But now that she is gone and we can go again I find myself feeling guilty about going. We still have yet to move anything at all, her toys and her bed are just the way that she left them. I am not sure when I will have the strength to move her things.

Dystinee was such a major part or our lifes sometimes I wondering if I will ever be able to totally move on or not.

All said we still miss her terribly and still find ourselves in shock and disbelief that she is really gone. Every day I still look around the house hoping that I will find her there waiting on me with that little face and looking up the way she did.

I miss her so much...